This week I’d like to do something I normally avoid, giving advice without
a request for advice. It’s wedding season and while most wedding plans are set in stone for the June bride, perhaps
there’s still a few people out there I can help. For those seasoned veterans already married, this will be review so
you may visit quietly with your neighbor until we are finished.
It’s tough when you get married because many times you’re young
and really don’t have the experience to make great decisions. Fortunately most young couples have parents or a pastor
to help solve wedding day questions. The best advice aside from listening to your piers is to remember your personal history
and to rely on custom. Get married at the church you grew up in at home. I’ve seen young couples move away for college
or work and then wed in a far-off city. I think young people want the legitimacy of being recognized as grown people on their
own in their own city. People who attend you wedding already know you’re adults and grandma and grandpa don’t
need a six hour drive to pound that fact into their heads. I wince when people write their own wedding vows. Every young couple
enjoys a love unique between them but if the church can’t offer wedding vows that reflect your love maybe you need to
hear the vows with better ears. The wedding vows are not only an expression of your love they are a reminder of what your
love should be.
Your wedding should be a great day. I don’t believe in worry particularly
on the day of a marriage. If loose ends exist the morning of the wedding maybe they shouldn’t be tied. At very worst,
as long as the pastor, bride and groom show-up and two of the three can mouth the words “I do.” then all will
be well. I myself enjoy the occasional beer but the day you marry should be free of alcohol. A wedding is such a wonderful,
quickening experience and you must approach it with reverence and sobriety. I’ve suffered through many weddings that
featured the theme from the movie “Titanic” however a couple needs some freedom to choose their own music. This
freedom does not extend to the wedding dance as you will have a wide variety of ages attend your wedding dance. If your music
repertoire includes only rap and reggae then I and all the other senior citizens over thirty will make it home for the ten
o clock news. Oh yeah, if you sell the bride’s garter then let her take this item from her own leg without help from
the winning bidder-enough said.
My wedding advice was directed mostly at the young couple and not the parents.
I always hope parents will exercise restraint during the wedding and not meddle. For those without that restraint here’s
a quote from my sister Deb. “If you’re wondering what to do during your child’s wedding just wear something
nice and be quiet.”