Halloween 2003
Viking, Minnesota

Rural Reflections Radio

It wasn’t a castle with a mad scientist on a mountain tall.

But rather a clinic with a doctor somewhere near the mall.

I was sure they would cure my problem neurological.

All else was fine, at least biological.

Long had my hands felt tingly and numb.

A touch was without reward, like taste without tongue.

Carpal Tunnel was my problem, more a bother than heinous.

Confident was I, that the test would be painless.

Things changed as Nurse Rigor led me to the exam dungeon.

The tools for testing were all electric in function.

What I’d hoped would be simply a taking of readings.

Turned out painful and included my screamings.

Nurse Igor said, "please relax your hand and don’t fear the dark."

"The lights may go dim from the shocks and the sparks."

The first jolt made me long for home and mother.

I said, ‘I’ll answer your questions, please not another."

The nurse cranked the amps high to really make me twitch.

The doctor said. "he needs more electric because he’s so thick."

I could see the alleged results were presented in a graph.

This test was a farce, my pain served only to make them laugh.

After what seemed like hours and days.

I could see disappointment in my Nurse’s gaze.

I relaxed for a bit, then the doctor came in.

"You’ll soon be done, first let’s stick you with pins."

The tests they ensued to a point I became illusional.

Just then he finished with my hands left contusional.

I said "I must leave this urban torture chamber."

"And warn all your patients how a visit means danger"

My captor said "really, I’m just a nice country Doc!"

I said, "gosh, they must miss you-where’s the key for this lock?"

Nurse Igor cleared her throat-part of a frog popped out.

Doctor Pain said, "you’ve already eaten, I’d ordered take-out!"

While they quibbled , I regained my formerly blurry vision.

I crawled out the door, not awaiting their decision.

Ole Doc pain said "we’ll forward the results to your General Practitioner."

As I considered "what in the world can I rhyme with Practioner?"


I thanked them for their professional demeanor

as I ran through a glass and then a screen door. (aren’t I clever)

Days later as I write,I can remember the pain still.

I feel the real suffering however, will come with my bill.